1. You think Abraham, Isaac and Jacob may have had a few hits during the 60's.
2. You open the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out.
3. Your favorite Old Testament patriarch is Hercules.
4. You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn't listed in either the Bible concordance or the table of contents.
5. Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand, "Who gave you this stuff?"
6. You keep falling for it every time the pastor tells you to turn to First Condominiums.
7. The kids continue to ask too many questions about your usual bedtime story, "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors."
-- Ginghamsburg (Ohio) UMC Newsletter
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